Cake will be provided at the end of this puzzling and poorly-constructed article.

Info Edit

GLaDOS209, better known as glados209 on the TS and BPM forums, is a basement-dwelling nerd that lives with his parents. His skin is pale-white and ice-cold, and he doesn't go out into the sunlight. CAUSE HE'S A NERD His name comes from the passive-aggressive computer in the videogame Portal. The "209" is a Halo reference. Bungie places a lot of significance on the number 7 throughout the game. For 209: 9 - 2 + 0 = 7.

GLaDOS209 likes memes. Some of his favorites include video game references, especially Valve-related ones.

Picture of GLaDOS IRL.

Also, unlike others, he has chosen to keep his identity secret from teh internetz. He says that it's to protect his anonymity online, but everyone knows that he's just incredibly ugly. T_T He's also a very big Grammar Nazi, so if you are going to edit this page, please type legibly and avoid any misspellings.

History Edit

When Black Mesa reportedly began research on similar portal technology in 1986, Aperture Science began construction of GLaDOS (HOWEVER, based on the copywrite date of GLaDOS v1.07a, found on the Aperture Science website, which is 1982, this information may be incorrect). A presentation on a projector seen briefly in game suggests that GLaDOS was at one point designed in competition with Black Mesa for a Defense Logistics contract looking to develop a Fuel System Icing Inhibitor (FSII). Aperture Science's proposal argued that their solution was not only cheaper than Black Mesa's, but it was in fact a 'fully functioning disk operating system' and 'arguably alive' as a bonus.

The 'Disk Operating' aspect of the A.I.'s namesake was completed in 1996, after which work began on the genetic lifeform area. GLaDOS was switched on for the first time several years later, during Aperture Science's first annual bring-your-daughter-to-work day. Initial tests are said to have gone well.

How and when GLaDOS became self aware and took control of Aperture Laboratories are open to speculation. The installation of the red phone and the morality chip are evidence that GLaDOS was not able to seize control of the Enrichment Center immediately after he developed the desire to do so, and that his creators had some inkling of the extent of his psychopathy. This suggests that there was a protracted struggle for power between GLaDOS and the human occupants of Aperture. It is also possible that GLaDOS overtook the Enrichment Center prior to the Black Mesa Incident, as the projections in the observation areas make mention of Black Mesa. It is unlikely that Black Mesa would have remained a viable company after the incident, and therefore competing with Aperture for government contracts.

(Special thanks to Combine Over-Wiki for the copypasta.)

GLaDOS is currently an active member of the Black Pawn Movement.

IRL Nazism? Edit

Apparently. thumb|left|300px|At 4:35, it is revealed that glados209 is actually a Nazi!

See, glados209 supports the BPM.

And in some circles, this means that he's:

  • a Cyber-bully.
  • a Nazi.
  • a Nerd.

Works wet or dry!

  • a Terrorist.
  • a Nazi
  • Justin Bieber
  • a Basement-dwelling Hermit.
  • Chris Hansen.
  • your mother.
  • sappin' your sentries.
  • a Nazi.
  • an onion ring
  • a force-a-nature.
  • a spy-crab.
  • an insolent little fucktard.
  • Vince with Shamwow!
  • A Nazi.

And so on...


The Internets love GLaDOS209! Edit

You heard right! People all over love him!

Here are a few quotes from some of his biggest fans.

  • "Whatever!!! you are such a child please don't waste my time with your stupidities.. "
  • "HAHA !!!! ignorant for not understand a 13 year old!! asinine comments!! GO TO YOUR SAFE HOUSE!!! PLEASE !! DO US ALL THE FAVOR AND DON'T COME OUT !! "
  • "Vip!! GLaDOS209 ( AK El Mamón )is here !!!!! with his spelling bee competition. Got to go. I have better things to do than waste my time with them. Congrats got the reaction you wanted =} "
  • "Glados made a avatar of Shiela on his Wii....he comes here in hopes you and him can hook up online.....GLADOS she is not an XBOX..she does not want to PLAY with to admit he is a peristant tick..LOL "
  • "you have ruined a perfectly good attack! Please die! "

LOL Funny quote.Edit

"this is for all those who find Viper extreme!. I find the BPM to be like a cancer. Cancer cannot be cured but can be slowed down and is some cases stopped all together but it needs a very drastic therapy: of chemotherapy. That's what viper is there chemotherapy."

Fun Fact: Did you know that all forms of chemotherapy come with the added side effect of neural depression?